“Raju!? What are you thinking about? “, my curious mother always asks me as I am yet again lost in deep thoughts. Well, I would take a moment to register what she enquired about and then give a smile and respond saying, “nothing mom”. Well things don’t end there, she goes on to enquire if something was wrong, if I faced anything too painful or if she can be of any aid with a tinge of doubt ofcourse. It could be trust issues in a teenager. I understand that her very genuine motherly love is trying to protect me, but at the same time I feel it is taking away my time for myself, my privacy to comprehend my own thoughts. Maybe it was my mind’s review time to sit and analyze something important, or maybe something trivial to the rest but not to me atleast.
But hey! There are many such moments we spend , thoughtless and pointless. We just sit and gaze at something and our mind goes blank. Some friends might think we are in a relationship, or worst dumped, family might think we are emotionally troubled and day dreaming and blame it on our gadgets and even better , the professors might think we are extra attentive in class, as long as you stare at the board ahead. ! That’s the irony my friends, when we try so hard to become scarp our thoughts and concentrate it becomes so hard but it happens very involuntarily sometimes. Mind is such a mysterious entity; we change the human race or destroy one with the very same mind.
The interesting thing to note here is that one can never completely understand what the mind or the brain work like. For scientific observation, we always need two isolated units , the observer and the subject. One must not be affected by the other. In human experimentation, the mind becomes the key to analysis and give us answers to our experiments. By now, you might just guess it right. Yes! In the observation of the mind or the brain, both the subject and the observer is the same.! Such an experiment cannot be conducive to the required study of the mind. Interesting right?
But there is indeed one thing rolling in my mind now. I am sitting by my window, facing east and lost in a deep meditation of thoughts. My heart aches, my eyes blur. I really don’t know why, with a roommate very well to trouble me, I am still feeling all alone. What am I missing? Who am I missing ? I feel so alone ; not that family love is missing, that is there a bounty, but my heart is searching for more maybe. Someone is yet to fill this empty space. And then my mind does the trick again, as the cool evening breeze diverts the drizzle against my face. I am yet again in a limbo, the emptiness in my mind creeps to my heart now.